How to Know When He's Addicted to Porn

photo by Marcelo Graciolli

Not everyone who sees porn will become addicted to it. Some will just come away with toxic idea about women, sex, marriage and children. Usually those who become addicted to anything have some kind of unusual craving that allows the addiction to really thrive.
Porn interferes with a man ability to have a normal relationship. If a man is compulsively watching porn then his attention is on it, not on you. Even when you try to intimate with him he can’t, because he has a relationship with porn. The following are warning signs that your partner is addicted to porn.

YOUR PARTNER BECOMES INTRUSIVELY CRITICAL OF YOUR APPEARANCE

Let’s face it, who can compete with a porn star? Most of them have exceptional bodies [which have been surgically enhanced]. they are also very young (translated “firm”). The more time your partner spends watching porn, the more he’s going to compare you (unfavorably) to porn actors and models he’s been looking at for hours on end.

YOUR PARTNER’S SEXUAL TASTES CHANGES

Earlier in your relationship, you may have been very compatible sexually. But now it’s as if you are with someone entirely different. He wants to do new or unusual things which you aren’t comfortable with in bed. He’s talking differently and acting differently whenever you are having sex. He’s rougher, more demanding, and basically treating you like an object-not someone he loves.

HE’S EVASIVE, LYING, DEFENSIVE OR SECRETIVE

Your partners’ addiction to porn is hurting your relationship because he’s not being honest with you and he’s shutting you out. If you attempt to talk to him about it, he’s either evasive or defensive. He hides pornography from you, keeps a private email address and spends money on pornography and lies about it to you. There may be other signs of an addiction to porn as well, including mood changes and an increasing detachment from you. If you are noticing any of these signs, then your relationship is in serious trouble. Without an open, honest conversation – which is always a challenge with an addict- it isn’t going to get better. If you stay and tolerate it, you are encouraging him. You know pornography can be more difficult addiction to break than cocaine.

Your best bet is to confront him – in none blaming, none attacking manner – and insist that he comes clean with you. If he refuses, then it’s time to take a break from the relationship. You deserve a partner who makes you a priority in his life - not someone with an addiction to porn who makes it his top priority.

YOUR PARTNER HAS BECOME MORE WITHDRAWN

If your partner used to be socially active and now makes excuses to avoid social activities and spends unusually long time online, or is spending increasing amounts of time alone, it may be due to an obsession with porn. Men with an addiction to porn often use the internet to satiate their craving. The supply is essentially endless and a lot of it is free. The red flags should go up even higher if your partner is secretive or tries to hide what he’s been viewing, or if he’s online late at night or early in the morning when you are in bed.

YOUR PARTNER SEEMS EMOTIONALLY ABSENT FROM THE RELATIONSHIP

This is often most noticeable during sex. You are together physically, but he seems to be elsewhere mentally. You are feeling less fulfilled as a result and he doesn’t seem to care.